friday Feminist Quote

The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, "It's a girl." ~Shirley Chisholm

The Exorcism of the Bulge

A taut young man dressed all in black, clutching the good book in his hand, bravely walks up to the hideous looking creature. He places his hand upon the barely recognizable feminine shape and begins to chant with the power of a true believer. “The power of the Lord compels you; the power of the Lord compels you.” His words begin to grow with sanctified ferociousness. “The power of the Lord compels you.” He knows this woman’s soul is at steak. “The power of the Lord compels you.” Exhaustion sweeps over our young hero as he looks deep in her eyes, “. . . to put down that fork.”

She is lead away from the family dining room table, the scene of her greatest transgressions against all things holy. Away from her mother who is burying her face into her husband’s chest, eyes brimming in tears, ashamed of the fiend she brought into this world. Away from her father who does his best to practice stoic indifference as the fruit of his loins is whisked away under the cover of darkness.

She must beg for atonement within the hallowed halls of Gold’s Gym, where the Divine lives. Brother Bluff leads this young sinner to confession to learn the weight of her sacrilegious inactivity. The truth of the scales of virtue causes this once beastly woman to fall to her knees. He raises her chin and gazes into her eyes, “Are you ready to accept, Charles Atkins as your own personal lord and savior?” Through tears, she looks up through the halo surrounding him, “Yes.” She takes his hand as he leads her over to a line of stair masters. Within a few moments, she is baptized with the purity of sweat and receives the blessed Gatorade. When mass is complete, he leads her to the door, presses the good book into her hand, You, on a Diet. He lays his hands on her forehead, “Bless you, my child, in the name of diet, exercise, and resistance training.”

Friday Feminist Quote

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~Anaïs Nin

Friday Feminist Quote

Every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man. ~Margaret Mead

Try telling these women that they're not funny

This post is related to this.

There's a stereotype out there that women are not funny. Vanity fair even did an article on how unfunny women are. Found here. Besides the fact that this entire piece is rooted in a stereotypical, heteronormative perspective, it's totally untrue. Women are funny, I'm funny, my female friends are funny. So I wonder how many examples of funny women I can come up with that spit in Christopher Hitchens' eye every day they go to work? So in no peculiar order:

Kristen Schaal

Sarah Haskins

Samantha Bee

Paula Poundstone

Kathy Griffin

Phyllis Diller

Lily Tomlin

Minnie Pearl

Mo'Nique

Julia Louis-Dreyus

Adele Givens

Aisha Tyler

Laura Hayes

Jan Krakowski

Marilyn Martinez

Sara Contreras

Monique Marvez

Tejana Sandra Valls

Maria Bumford

Sarah Silverman

Wanda Skyes

Lucille Ball

Carol Burnette

Tracey Ullman

Joan Rivers

Amy Poehler

Tina Fey

Margaret Cho

Janeane Garafalo

Whoopi Goldberg

Roseanne Barr

Ellen Degeneres

This list is by no means comprehensive, please add any additonal names in the comments section. Not familiar with a name on the list, check them out. Support your local funny female.

Friday Feminist Quote

"It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head."

Sally Kempton

GREAT Expectations

Check out this older blog post also, Great Expectations.